728 x 90

The Parental Quandary of Letting Go

The Parental Quandary of Letting Go

She was my firstborn, the privileged one who received the slavish affections of a delirious father instantly smitten by the new, fragile, squirming, little creature. Her birth unleased a whole new range of emotions and sensations: drooling euphoria, unhinged rapture, besotted reverence, incoherent adulation. There were the feedings and diaper changes and other more tedious repetitions, yet still I rushed each morning to her cradle so I could witness the inevitable warmth of her smile.

I tracked and promoted her career through childhood and adolescence. We slogged through “Hooked on Phonics” and Suzuki music lessons. I helped her with spelling bees, dioramas, book reports, and science projects. She joined the marching band, and I followed her to the recitals and competitions throughout the state, cheering and applauding her every effort.

It was around the time of her 18th birthday that I began to experience great disquiet. I realized that each school year event would not be revisited, that she would not return to lead the band or perform at football games or play in the orchestra or symphony; and so each such closing activity was endowed with poignancy, finality, and newfound urgency.

It is a routine and predictable enough event in a parent’s life, this letting go of the children we’ve raised. It brings a whole host of emotions, many of them marked by sorrow and foreboding, lamentation and weeping. Yet a parent must ultimately do this; parenting, after all, is preparing our children for their own lives. They do not belong to us. We merely have the burden—and pleasure—of raising them. Yet how we raise them plays a great role not only in our own lives, but in the lives of the entire nation.

The sadness I felt at letting go of my daughter was largely because I could glimpse the schism that was fast approaching the boisterous and happy family unit I had carefully assembled and tended through the years with house, kids, and pet canary. And it is this happy family unit that has always been the focus of those who occupy the commanding heights of our institutions—the Marxist elites.

These elites have sought to undermine the nuclear family, to destroy the institution of marriage, to render it merely one of any number of lifestyle options and preferences, rather than to elevate and privilege it as our most critical institution.

They have assaulted the bond between parents and children. They have injected their anti-family ideology into the bloodstream of the country through our schools and colleges and government programs that encourage dependency and dysfunctional behavior. They targeted church and religion as well, directing their contempt first and foremost at Christianity, thus weakening the sinews of our moral system and the nuclear family itself.

Marxists hold that your children do not belong to you; rather, they belong to the state. These elites seek control early on—in gestation, in pre-K, elementary school, and beyond—their grip on our children ever tighter and manipulative, culminating in an all-consuming dominance through our higher institutions.

The only way to combat the force of this Marxist onslaught is the autonomous, married, nuclear family that faithfully cultivates the parent-child bond. We must guard our children and instill in them the values of our civilization and faith. We must shield them from the corruption of the regime, and the radical vanguard that commands our schools and universities. Through this parent-child bond and the elements which support and cultivate it—the church and temple, our local communities—we can preserve the West and shield our children from the moral chaos surrounding us.

When the time came for my daughter to leave for college, I took the day off to drive her to her dorm. Before hitting the road, I told her how proud she had made me. I recited a prayer and blessed her. When we arrived, I helped her to unload her luggage and then bade her farewell.

Will she stand strong against the Marxist onslaught? Only time will tell, but I think she has a strong chance, for she has been raised in that pesky institution that the Marxists hate with a passion: the nuclear, two-parent family. It is our obligation to ensure that more of today’s children have a solid foundation from which to begin their adult lives.

Image Credit: Richard Moss


Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked with *


  • Avatar
    Rodrigo Silveira
    June 1, 2022, 11:59 am

    This is my second read this early morning. The first was a random letter from my younger daughter, now 26, married, thanking me for doing exactly what Richard described in his well written piece.

    My wife and I never gave up on instilling our values on our kids and mentoring them into the habits that etch there values into their souls.

    We must never, never, ever give up!

  • Avatar
    Dawn Patterson
    June 1, 2022, 3:20 pm

    Wonderfully said.

  • Avatar
    June 2, 2022, 4:32 pm

    If only it were that simple. I raised three children as a full-time mom in a traditional home. We ate breakfast and dinner together as a family, attended church weekly, and had many discussions about all topics. Our home was filled with love and laughter. My sons followed the traditions they were taught, married, had children, attend church weekly. My daughter took a different path. Her senior year of college she got in with a group of family-haters, who complained about how terrible their families were because of their traditional ways. She changed her personal narrative to fit in. Following graduation she cut off all family. We haven’t heard a word from her in years. Good luck with your daughter and I hope and pray she doesn’t not fall into the wrong group, "letting go" becomes far more painful.

  • Avatar
    richard moss
    June 4, 2022, 12:57 pm

    Thanks for the comments. I agree with Mawm that even with all this things may go awry. What I have done in the hopes of averting such losses is, in addition to instilling our central themes, values, and beliefs, faith, family, the Bible, I have been very specific in the issues of the day: Diversity, Equity, Inclusion, for example, CRT, transgenderism, Pride Month, gay marriage, the so called legacy of slavery, "systemic racism," BLM, Covid tyranny, debt, deficits, George Floyd, and so on, and address each of them specifically, over time. So they are better positioned to defend their beliefs.

  • Avatar
    August 3, 2022, 3:44 am


    You have posted a nice and informative article named letting go, I learn a lot from your post. Go ahead, keep up the good work.



Posts Carousel

Latest Posts

Frequent Contributors