If you’re in the habit of believing everything you see online, you may have the impression right now that women are generally upset with their lot in motherhood. At best, they are merely surviving the “overstimulating” days and sleepless nights all while feeling overworked and underappreciated. At worst, they are posting solidarity with a mother, Lindsay Clancy, who allegedly murdered her three children after what appears to have been a long battle with postpartum psychosis.

Viewing such a miserable picture of motherhood, maternally-minded young women are likely to shrink back in horror. Marriage-minded men are no less concerned at the prospect that lies before them – an exhausted and unhappy wife who resents their children and, eventually, him.

The first problem with taking this dismal picture as truth is that it commits one fatal error of social media: The algorithm is going to feed us whatever will keep us watching and clicking. That includes videos and posts which keep our attention out of horror, sadness, concern, or anger. Right now, people are primed to think all sorts of ferocious thoughts about videos of women sobbing about their hard lives as moms. In other words, they’re primed to give these miserable moms, and the platforms they post on, their attention. Happy moms, on the other hand, aren’t good for Meta’s bottom line.

The second problem with believing the “miserable motherhood” narrative is that happy moms aren’t usually posting about it. There are some exceptions. But the mother who is completely miserable is usually looking for some sort of validation. Indeed, she hopes for a level of validation which only the limitless attention of social media can give her. She is far more likely to post her tribulations than a happy mother is to post her joys.

There is one surefire way to turn this false picture of misery into a true one. If women keep giving these mothers their attention by consuming their depressing content, it will eventually influence their willingness to take on the hard work of motherhood. If men keep filling their minds with it, they are bound to develop a hardened resentment of women, fostering a perception of them as ungrateful, insipid, and possibly outright murderous creatures. During times of vitriol and passion, as the internet has been during Clancy’s trial, it is important to turn our attention away from the things that are making us angrier. Especially, as in this case, if the perception we are building is at odds with reality.

After the murder of Charlie Kirk almost a year ago, a break from social media was exactly what I needed. From gruesome close-up, slow-motion videos of the murder, to thrilling calls to patriotic action, to disgusting leftist celebrations of the murder, it was too much for my psyche to handle. It is necessary to be informed about the gruesome reality of current events and the political left’s thoughts and opinions about them. But the content was so all-consuming that I could not escape thoughts of doom and anger concerning it. That’s no way for anyone to live.

When evil occurs, as it did in the viral deaths of Kirk and Clancy’s children, our moral consciences strive to do something about it. While an informed mind and a heart filled with righteous anger are important parts of the solution, spiraling and doom scrolling are not. I promise, a break from social media will not turn you oblivious to the evil of this world. It will restore your soul and enable you to combat said evil with grit and a cheerful heart.

As Clancy’s trial continues, removing ourselves from viewing what the worst people involved in the national conversation have to say about it may reinvigorate us to love and encourage motherhood in others and, if you are a mother or father yourself, to live the life of tireless love and selfless care towards your children which the Clancy children deserved, yet never knew.

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This article was made possible by The Fred & Rheta Skelton Center for Cultural Renewal.

Image credit: X/Adriienne F