In the weeks leading up to a major U.S. election, many feminist wives take to social media to encourage, or brag about, “canceling out” their husband’s vote. Major news outlets such as NBC News and The Guardian covered the trend in 2024, but now various influencers are openly encouraging women to vote differently from their husbands ahead of the November midterms.

“PSA: Your ballot is secret. Your husband won’t know if you vote differently than him,” one influencer wrote in a TikTok video.

Commenters chimed in with their own stories of marital strife over politics.

“I divorced my husband for voting for Trump,” one said.

“My man ASKED me who to vote for,” a woman commented, and another user replied, “We get our ballots mailed to us for every election, so I fill mine out and leave it on the counter for my man to copy mine directly.”

Opponents of the 19th Amendment get a bad rap, but this scenario is exactly what they warned us about. Most of the more serious opponents of female suffrage aren’t upset so much at the prospect of an “inferior” being wielding the same political rights as a man; rather, they’re concerned that dividing the political unit of the household invites wives to make political decisions in a way expressly undermining the husband’s leadership. It is a tacit admission that her political loyalty is up for grabs, completely independent of her husband’s wishes.

Whether the 19th Amendment is really to blame for women voting blue in secret is another question entirely, and not a simple one to answer. But the political effects of cultural feminism are, no doubt, at fault here. Wives no longer see themselves as part of their husband’s mission and purpose. Indeed, they no longer see themselves as part of their household’s purpose. To them, each person in the home is an autonomous being who must carve out his or her own social mores individually, independent of the household’s needs or the husband’s leadership.

The aforementioned influencer’s video was subtly referencing women in abusive relationships, so it is worth addressing this particular fringe case. First, it is difficult to understand how voting for Democrats helps a woman in a domestic violence situation. Second, it doesn’t require a whole bunch of mind-reading to see that this influencer, and others like her, do not only mean for her video to reach women who are at risk of suffering violence should they not obey their husband’s wishes. Indeed, the video’s very commenters – whom the influencer applauds – are bragging about divorcing spouses whose only crime was voting for a Republican, indicating that this feminist on TikTok is going after all marriages where the husband is unconvinced about his wife’s liberal views.

The marriage where the wife has so little respect for her husband that she would brag about publicly disagreeing with his political principles is bound to have an inverted hierarchy as well. A husband in the role of Christ-like leader with the wife joyfully following his mission is the biblical model for marriage. Yet when division breaks that order, the wife often assumes a leadership role in the home. The opponents of the 19th Amendment realize that if the wife has the agency to vote, she may choose to vote in a way that undermines her husband, or outright assume the role of political decision-maker in the home. According to the comments on this viral TikTok video, this appears to be the case, although whether the 19th Amendment is to blame is another matter.

Of course, many wives do vote with their husbands, and her vote simply becomes a bolster to his own political voice rather than a way to cancel it out. And many single women often vote with other political goals in mind than simply preserving abortion and open borders, for example. Thus, repealing the 19th would disenfranchise these women in addition to the liberal women undermining their husbands. Opponents of women’s suffrage must wrestle with this reality, while those who dismiss opposition to female voting must wrestle with the fact that many women are already using this right to divide marriages and entice wives away from honoring their spouses’ preferences and convictions.

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This culture article was made possible by The Fred & Rheta Skelton Center for Cultural Renewal, a project of 1819 News.

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