In an age when Americans are increasingly polarized, there’s something fascinating about the way Meghan Markle – the ex-actress, British duchess, and now Cali-girl extraordinaire – seems to unite us.

No matter what poor Markle does, she always seems to leave many Americans with the idea that she’s a clueless pseudo-elite, eager to tell us average folks just how to think and act and engage.

Markle’s latest Netflix show, “With Love, Meghan,” is no exception. Raised-eyebrow reviews are already a dime a dozen, with many labeling her glossy show inauthentic and unoriginal.

One criticism leveled at the show is especially intriguing, however. Several observers noted that Markle’s talk about the importance of her family and her desire to be hospitable seems at odds with the fact that she filmed the show in a rented house, not her own home.

This observation gave me pause, as a friend of mine recently raised a similar issue, wondering why so many Americans shy away from bringing others into their homes these days. Births and deaths were once marked by gatherings in the home, he observed, as were birthday parties for children and adults, but not anymore. Instead, they’re hosted at bars, places like Chuck E. Cheese, or even ignored altogether.

Markle’s attempt to portray a cheerful, loving home atmosphere clearly shows that there is a cultural hunger and desire for that warm, loving place of refuge … yet both she – and many Americans – seem to be missing the mark. Why is this?

Our fast-paced culture is undoubtedly one reason. Inviting others into our home takes time, and when we’re busy running ourselves and other family members around to this event or that activity, bringing others into our home is the last thing we have time for.

Convenience is another reason. I myself plead guilty to this one. It’s far easier to invite a friend to a coffee shop or grab lunch together than clean the house or put other family members out in order to make room for guests.

Many of us may even feel that our homes are not worthy to be seen by others – incomparable to the perfect interior design photos which fill our Instagram feeds day after day – and so we avoid welcoming people all together.

But could there also be a deeper reason, one that goes to the core of our beliefs and how we cultivate the families who live in our homes?

The late American philosopher Allan Bloom hinted at this reason in his famous work “The Closing of the American Mind.” The modern family – even those in happy, non-broken homes – suffers from a bleak spiritual landscape, Bloom explained. “Ritual and ceremony [e.g. the celebration of births and deaths in the home and the hospitality which often marks them] are now often said to be necessary for the family, and they are now lacking.”

Bloom continues:

The family, however, has to be a sacred unity believing in the permanence of what it teaches, if its ritual and ceremony are to express and transmit the wonder of the moral law, which it alone is capable of transmitting and which makes it special in a world devoted to the humanly, all too humanly, useful. When that belief disappears, as it has, the family has, at best, a transitory togetherness. People sup together, play together, travel together, but they do not think together. Hardly any homes have any intellectual life whatsoever, let alone one that informs the vital interests of life.

Essentially, the heart of the home is the family. And for that family – for that home – to be successful, its members must be operating off the same foundation.

Bloom hints at two things in particular to lay that foundation: spiritual and intellectual formation.

Regarding the first, Bloom encourages his readers to incorporate the Bible and its wisdom into their families, a fact intriguing particularly since he himself was reportedly an atheist. Regarding the second, Bloom encourages parents to have the confidence that they – not experts – can successfully educate their children, seeking out old, good books and reading and discussing them, rather than constantly turning to other fast-paced media entertainment.

As mentioned above, Markle’s Netflix show clearly shows that there’s a desire, a love, and an interest in all things homey in our culture today. If we want homeyness to simply be a thing of external cosmetics, then we should just continue with the Instagram-worthy photos and Pinterest-type kitchen tips that Markle advances.

But if we want true homeyness – the kind that is full of warmth and welcome that draws not only family members together, but friends and strangers as well – then we must make sure our families are infused with both spiritual and mental training and knowledge.

—

The republication of this article is made possible by The Fred & Rheta Skelton Center for Cultural Renewal. 

Image Credit: Netflix/YouTube