The noon sun beamed high in the sky as I began warming up my daughter’s team in the outfield grass. It was the start of another 12U softball Saturday in the Chicago suburbs.

As I lined up the girls, I watched our head coach pull up in his minivan about 15 minutes late for warm-ups. His daughter trudged to the field to join her team.

I gently nudged her as she stepped onto the field and said, “Tired, Stephanie? Don’t worry—you’ll be fine once we get going.”

She looked at me and said, “Yeah, I know, but I ran a 5k this morning.”

Her comment caught me off guard. I responded, “OK… wow—that is a lot. Well, let’s play a little catch. You’ll be good once the game starts.”

In the third inning, her dad pulled me aside and said, “Hey, Ray, we will see how things go, but Stephanie and I might have to leave early. You are OK taking over, right? My son has a hockey game in northwest Indiana, and if we don’t leave here by 1:30, I don’t think we’ll make it with the traffic.”

I said, “Yes, no problem. Busy day, huh?”

He paused and said, “The worst part is that we have to hustle back up here to Schaumburg after my son’s game because Stephanie has an 8 o’clock basketball game tonight.”

I thought my head was going to explode.

I wish this episode were an exception, but I keep seeing situations like this as my kids grow older and their activities require more time and commitment.

Three Stones

During a recent sermon about exhaustion, our pastor taught us a parable I had never heard before.

In the story, God asked this man, “Would you put three stones in a wagon and do me a favor and take them up to the top of that big hill?”

So, the man started up the hill, doing exactly what God had asked.

On his way, the man bumped into someone who said, “Hey, I see you are going up the hill. I need to get a stone up there—can I put my stone in your wagon?”

The man replied, “Sure, no problem. I got it.”

And then the man encountered another who said, “You look hot and tired like you could use a cold glass of lemonade. You want some?”

The man said thanks and chugged the drink. The lemonade giver asked, “By the way, would you mind taking a few stones up the hill for me?”

The man felt he owed the other man for the lemonade, so he nodded and reluctantly loaded more stones into his wagon.

Similar exchanges happened several more times until the man’s wagon was filled with stones. The man began to tire and struggle, finally to exhaustion, as he collapsed on the side of the hill.

The man looked up at the sky and yelled at God, “I can’t believe you’re asking me to do all this! It’s too much!”

The Lord reached down and started picking up the stones, examining them one at a time. God said, “No, I don’t remember giving you this one,” as he mercifully removed one from the wagon. Eventually, the wagon’s contents returned to the original three stones God had given the man.

Pointing at the wagon, God said, “This is all I asked of you. The rest was you.”

Three D’s to Manage Our Wagons

At one time or another, we have all been the man with an overloaded wagon. The question is how we can keep our wagons in check.

In my own life, I’ve found three d’s that bear remembering as I evaluate which stones need carrying and which burdens should be let go.

Divine

Does this stone bring me closer to the divine—or what is ultimately meaningful in life?

After my wife’s death 10 years ago, I thought I was finally focusing on my faith. But over time, I continue to realize how far I fall from perfect. I do a pretty good job of prioritizing God, then family, followed by my demanding job. But there are times when my other interests clamor for attention.

I become restless when I fall behind in listening to my regular podcasts or can’t get to an intriguing book I want to read. I get irritated when I have the inspiration to write but can’t find time on my laptop to capture my thoughts before they evaporate.

When I force these other activities into my schedule, it’s not long before I find myself falling asleep before my nightly prayers or getting short with my kids because I am frustrated by my lack of time. Those are signals that I need to reprioritize my pursuits.

When this happens, I don’t give up on these other interests that spark my soul. But I slow down, re-evaluate, and recenter, knowing that it won’t be the last time I will need to make such an adjustment.

Discernment and Discipline

I work to surround myself with positive people who share similar values. I am lucky to be around many terrific parents who want the best for their kids. However, these people usually need the most help deciding what goes into their wagons.

It’s been said, “If the devil can’t make you bad, he’ll make you busy.” Like the family at the start of this article, many moms and dads get involved in way too much. These parents not only sign their kids up to too many teams, but they also volunteer to coach or organize. Youth sports are out of control, but it is not isolated to that. Even church, school, or family activities can become a burden if not managed correctly.

I see moms and dads with a bucket list of family traditions who insist their children partake in all the same experiences they had growing up. It is important to pass down this heritage, but one has to be realistic.

Since we live in the suburbs of Chicago, I have made peace that my kids won’t walk beans, bale hay, or work with livestock like I did while growing up on a farm. But I can teach them the same critical lessons I took from farming if I creatively look for opportunities.

The two things that often trip people up are discernment and discipline. Some people don’t pause to think about the impact of their decisions before saying “yes” to another stone. Others talk as if they realize the importance of simplifying their lives but must summon the will to follow through with it.

If we don’t figure this out, we will likely miss some of the best moments. We won’t have the time or energy to play catch in the backyard, shoot baskets in the driveway, eat relaxing family dinners, or have the buffer to enjoy the unplanned days we remember most.

I pray that we all look inside our wagons and make tough but necessary decisions for us and our families.

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