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Raising Boys to Be Real Men

If you’re a young, marriageable woman these days—or even if you’re the parent or grandparent of one—you’ve probably asked the following question once or twice: “Where are all the good men?”

To be sure, there’s no shortage of males, but there just doesn’t seem to be the “real men” types—those who embrace masculinity and the protector and provider roles that traditionally come with it.

As one female noted on Reddit a few months ago, “Every time I go on a date, I discover the person sitting across from me is a modern, effeminate, and weak man.”

Pointing out that many of today’s men are weak isn’t an attempt to bash them. Indeed, bashing and tearing down the male sex is probably one of the many reasons they’ve become feminized, in addition to the coddling, soft environment in which they’ve been raised.

Instead, we should look forward to the future, seeking to ensure that today’s boys turn into tomorrow’s men, ready to lead, work hard, and raise strong families of their own.

But where do we start?

As many of the male sex turn increasingly effeminate, models of traditional manhood decrease. But looking to the past gives us some helpful clues in knowing how to raise today’s boys to be tomorrow’s real men.

I found one of these models in an 1886 publication titled Items of Interest, Vol. 8. Under the topic heading “Don’t Undervalue the Boy,” it lays out a game plan for raising men that is still relevant today.

Have Confidence in Young Boys

Adults tend to treat little boys like babies far longer than they should. Let boys know that you think of them as trustworthy individuals, not helpless creatures who can’t do anything right.

As Items of Interest describes, “a proper amount of confidence, and words of encouragement and advice, and giving him to understand that you trust him in many ways, helps to make a man of him long before he is a man in either stature or years.”

One of the best ways to increase a young boy’s confidence in himself (and your confidence in him) is to give him increasingly greater responsibilities. Let him ride his bike to ever greater distances, let him run an errand for you, have him take charge of a repair project around the house—whatever it is, make sure to let go and give him a chance to stretch his wings.

And then, sit back and let him amaze you with how well he stepped up to the plate of responsibility.

Encourage Curiosity

Boys have a natural bent toward investigation, Items of Interest notes, and when we ignore that bent, we miss a huge opportunity to help them learn and grow. One of the best ways to do this is by willingly answering their questions. “If you do not explain puzzling things to them, you oblige them to make many experiments before they find out,” the publication explains.

In other words, adults who are willing to answer a boy’s questions will likely keep him out of trouble, saving adults a lot of headaches in the process!

Let Them Work With Their Hands

Today, we’re afraid of letting children use equipment that could cause them to get cut or have some type of an accident. But giving a young boy tools to work with, even a simple hammer and nails, allows him to build his store of knowledge while also teaching him some valuable character and a vision for what he can do in the future. As Items of Interest explains:

Give him tools, and let him find out for himself whether he has any mechanical taste or not. … If a boy finds he can make a few articles with his hand, it tends to make him rely on himself. And the planning that is necessary for the execution of the work is a discipline and an education of great value to him.

The future welfare and happiness of the boy depends on the surroundings of his youth. When he arrives at that period in his life that he is obliged to choose what profession or what line of business to follow, it is highly important he should take no false step. And if in his youth he has cultivated a taste for any particular branch, the choice of a profession or business will be made more easy.

Don’t Assume He’s Your ‘Mini-Me’

Parents naturally want their sons to follow in their footsteps. Such a desire is OK, but only as long as it doesn’t lead them into thinking that their son will or won’t be interested in a certain activity just because his parents are interested or not.

Items of Interest exhorts us: “Do not discourage him, as parents are apt to do, by saying: ‘Oh, it is no use for you to try to do anything with tools. I never have any taste that way, and of course you have not.’”

These points seem simple and straightforward, but in an age when children are bubble-wrapped for protection, placed in front of a phone or video game for entertainment, or encouraged to transition to another gender, the idea of allowing boys to learn and grow the old-fashioned way seems novel—and perhaps even frightening.

The thing to remember, though, is that hard times are likely coming. And hard times call for real men who can charge forward and be masters of those difficult situations.

Why not prepare your son to be one of the few real men who will be ready for the hard times? In doing so, he will be able to devote his energy to leading others through the difficult seasons, instead of simply trying to cope and take care of himself.

And that sounds like a win, not only for your son, but for countless others as well.

This article is republished with permission from The Epoch Times.

Image Credit: Pexels

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Annie Holmquist
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  • Avatar
    S R Kidd
    October 4, 2022, 3:56 pm

    I grow tired of hearing the "Real Man" comment and phrase used. You and your mothers wanted sensitive men, who bear/share their feelings. Go for the nice girl, who’ve been run through by more men than they can count. "#MeToo", "Yes, means Yes", and the divorce courts have left smoking craters where men use to be because women said, "I’m Not Happy", "He looked at me funny", or "He’s creepy". You’ve invaded all male spaces, which were dying b/c of the lack of fathers unable to pass on the traditions of these spaces from father to son b/c of parental alienation (see my previous mention of divorce courts).

    Why not make a point to do 2 things:
    1 – Start shaming women for the feminist behaviors frequently and publicly.
    2 – Leave male spaces, such as the Boy Scouts, and tell girls that there are some place that you just don’t belong and it’s his space, not for you.

    REPLY
    • Avatar
      Michael David@S R Kidd
      October 7, 2022, 12:24 am

      Look in the mirror ladies – you won’t like your reflection.

      Whilst women decide who to "play" with for the night – it is men who decide whether to commit to a relationship.

      How about older women not shaping our young women to become loud-mouth, entitled, tatted-up, hard-drinking garden tools with incurable STDs, fornication trophies from multiple men and "always right" syndrome and several worthless degrees?

      Live with a man for six months, then walk away with half his life. Sell me modern women again?

      In this current world, the average 18 year old young woman already has an incredible notch-count, and is chasing the bad boys who won’t see her the next day. One day she wakes up and it’s almost too late. If she can’t lock down a man, she’ll be a cat lady, so she grabs the nearest thirsty sucker and pines ever more for the bad boys of her youth.

      Teach them to be ladies. If you even know what that means. We’ll mentor young boys to become men.

      Women are born with everything. Youth, beauty & fertility and get very very special treatment because of it. NONE of this is earned.

      Men are born with nothing. We are totally expendable and worthless until we have gained skills and made our mark. Men have to EARN every step of the way to become worthy of anything.

      Remember the old maxim, "no hymen, no diamond"? That’s a good start for young women. Teach them to treasure and guard their femininity, not hand it out to every passing bad boy who gives them the tingles.

      Then teach them to actually cook a healthy meal, wash & iron clothes and keep a house. A young lady is not meant to be a "Boss Grrrl" or "Bad B…h". She is physically no match at all for any man in a fight despite what the latest Marvel movie proselytises.

      She is meant to be the first mate in a family, supporting her husband and taking care of the next generation. She is meant to be friendly, loyal, and maintain her appearance and guard her femininity.

      But feminism has won. You are all equal with us now. You wanted this. You made this bed so lie in it.

      REPLY
  • Avatar
    Quote Of The Day – Splendid Isolation
    October 6, 2022, 11:04 am

    […] you need to read Raising Boys To Be Real Men.  It’s excellent, as is most of Annie’s […]

    REPLY
  • Avatar
    leo
    October 6, 2022, 6:30 pm

    I grew up in Perth Amboy NJ. When I was 8 years old in 1960 my mother who didn’t drive sent me on Errands to two small stores (now bodegas) in the city. I remember the small food lists to this day as well as the carton of Chesterfields cigarettes. Try doing that today and mommy would be in mommy jail.

    REPLY
  • Avatar
    JohnC9¹1
    October 11, 2022, 4:28 am

    I can tell you all these things will not work without the father.
    In fact will turn them in the type of guy who will take the wrong lessons from it and increase the problem.

    Here I got a list on how you can solve the problems of boys.
    Stop divorcing men (unless for violence), talking bad about the father of the child (especially to the boys), start going to church and stop dating (marrying and sleeping with) bad boys.

    REPLY

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