The life of the “stay-at-home mom” is under constant scrutiny. Her personal choice to not take a full-time job outside the home, focusing her energies and talents on raising her children and keeping her house instead, seems antithetical to the world’s definition of success. As a result, the world provides all manner of explanations for her choice: perhaps she is brainwashed, too religious, or simply not smart enough to want anything better for herself.

As a “stay-at-home mom” who is academically and intellectually motivated, I want to address the contention that happy stay-at-home moms are simply the ones without the brain power to realize what they are missing while at home with their children.

Author Andrea Huberwoman recently asked the following provocative question on X, reigniting an online conversation about what it means to be a stay-at-home mom (SAHM):

What happens when a woman is intelligent enough to see the long-term value of being a SAHM, but too intellectually restless to reduce that role to housework and washing the dishes alone?

Dishes and laundry sometimes seem endless, and it could be easy to let them take up all of a mother’s time – with only a few diaper changes and reheated leftovers between. But being a SAHM is only as boring as women make it.

In reality, the life of the SAHM allows women to be more creative than ever. SAHMs have obvious limitations, but they are also in charge of their own schedules throughout the day.

The husband of a SAHM likely works a job where he does what the company needs him to do for eight to nine hours a day. Then he comes home and has roughly three to five hours to fill as he pleases.

SAHMs, however, have the whole day. Sure, there are certain tasks that must be done – dishes and laundry being a couple of them – but how and when SAHMS get those things done is up to them. They can set up a system that gives their families the clean laundry they need without forcing moms to go to bed every night after sweeping piles of clean clothes needing folding onto the floor. SAHMs can adopt cleaning systems that keep things running in relative peace, keeping overwhelmed feelings at bay. They can incorporate meal plans and grocery shopping routines that make cooking fresh and healthy meals second nature.

But these administrative tasks are just the start of a SAHM’s job. There’s even more to do in a SAHM’s dynamic life.

The “dishes and laundry” part of SAHM life doesn’t take up 12-14 hours a day if managed properly. The rest of a SAHM’s time is hers to freely control – and who could be bored by freedom?

With such freedom, many SAHMs choose to take side jobs and part-time work. These opportunities are wonderful creative outlets and often make a little extra income for their families in a way that still allows children to enjoy the constant presence of at least one parent in the home.

But beyond working part time, hobbies and “side hustles” abound, contributing to the running of the home in more than just monetary ways. Rural hobbies, such as gardening, keeping chickens, canning and preserving, and raising livestock are not  lucrative, but they do serve as creative outlets that SAHMs can take advantage of while contributing to the happiness and wellbeing of their household. Baking and cooking hobbies are fun for the mother and the rest of the family, since everyone gets to enjoy the fruits of her labor. Crafts such as scrapbooking steward family memories, sewing puts clothes on the children and adorns the house, crocheting and knitting create keepsakes and homemade household items.

From a personal perspective, my life as a SAHM is far more dynamic and interesting than it was when I worked in an office for 12 hours a day, coming home only to eat dinner and perhaps spend time with a couple friends before bed. It was just rinse and repeat day after day.

It’s important to realize that before the Industrial Revolution, mothers weren’t “just doing dishes and laundry.” And they certainly weren’t bored. When economies were built around families, mothers simply adopted the physical bearing and feeding of children primarily while the husband handled the other aspects of their domestic world. It’s only in our corporate economy, where making money is separated from domesticity, that SAHMs must consider these questions.

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This article was made possible by The Fred & Rheta Skelton Center for Cultural Renewal.

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