Mark Zuckerberg thinks you don’t have enough friends.

Yes, the king of that behemoth we all know and – ahem – love as Facebook has identified a serious problem in the lives of Americans and, never fear, is here to help. His solution? AI friends.

The average American has around three friends but would prefer around 15, Zuckerberg tells Dwarkesh Patel in a recent podcast interview. While he admits that physical friends are probably better, he also hints that we just need to remove the stigma surrounding fake robot friends so people can really see their value and begin forming these precious robotic bonds.

Let’s ignore the fact for a moment that such an admission seems to signal that Zuckerberg’s creation of Facebook – that online forum that was supposed to bring real, live humans together in community – was apparently a complete failure in doing so if Americans are so lonely that they need AI friends. If anything, many of us would likely look to Facebook as the symbol of why we have fewer physical friends today than we’d like to have.

But maybe that was Zuckerberg’s mission all along. “For many today man is just a part of the world of things, because the experience of the human simply eludes them,” theologian Dietrich Bonhoeffer wrote from his cell in a Nazi prison. Perhaps Zuckerberg is just one of those many who go after the next shiny “thing,” oblivious to why the human being needs real, physical interaction with other humans.

Zuckerberg would do well to sit at the feet of Bonhoeffer for a moment, for that martyr of a totalitarian state observed that friendship or human interaction is really for three main things: happiness, humility, and help.

There is hardly anything that can make one happier than to feel that one counts for something with other people. What matters here is not numbers, but intensity. In the long run, human relationships are the most important thing in life; the modern ‘efficient’ man can do nothing to change this, nor can the demi-gods and lunatics who know nothing about human relationships. God uses us in his dealings with others. Everything else is very close to hubris.

In Zuckerberg’s eyes, our need for AI friends stems from the fact that we are a lonely people and need more companionship. In other words, friendship is all about us – what we need to be fulfilled.

But that is exactly the opposite of how Bonhoeffer views friendship. Being a help to others – an instrument of God’s goodness to those around us – is one of the main benefits he sees in friendship.

That help, however, isn’t just a one-way street. As Aristotle explains in his “Nicomachean Ethics,” friendship is necessary in both prosperity and adversity. Thus, friendship shows itself in giving to others, whether through a listening ear, financial or other personal aid, or even wise advice.

But friendship also shows itself through a willingness to receive – in having the humility to accept what comes from others, whether critique or sacrificial giving.

This give and take of a friendship subsequently promotes personal happiness, particularly if the friendship is what Aristotle calls a “virtuous” one where friends build each other up, encouraging one another to pursue the good, the true, and the beautiful. “[E]ach models himself upon the pleasing features of the other’s character, whence the saying ‘From good men learn good life,’” Aristotle says.

Even the best AI may fool us for a time, but when push comes to shove, that AI friend won’t be there to put an arm around us. AI can definitely give advice and provide a listening ear … but that ear isn’t one that can offer true empathy and feeling.

And what about that two-way street of friendship? What encouragement can we offer to AI, or how can we provide for AI’s needs, whether physical, emotional, or spiritual? AI is a perfect robot. How can we encourage it to virtuous living if it doesn’t have a soul … and how can a soulless creature build up our virtue and character?

Zuckerberg is right in that Americans likely need more friendship, but the companionship we need can’t come through the effortless click on a keyboard. It must come by pushing away from that same keyboard, inviting an acquaintance to lunch or for a walk, and then taking the time to get beyond the surface questions of weather and work and into the true needs of the human person. And in doing so, we will find ourselves more happy, fulfilled, and beginning to grow into more well-rounded and beautiful human beings.

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The republication of this article is made possible by The Fred & Rheta Skelton Center for Cultural Renewal. 

Image Credit: StockCake, Public Domain