‘Tis the season for weddings, and chances are the next several weeks will find many of us sitting in a lovely venue, decked in our best, watching a man and a woman pledge themselves to one another for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health.

The good news is that more of these sweet couples may remain true to their vows. Statistics from the Census Bureau show that U.S. divorce rates have dropped from 10.0 in 2008 to 7.0 in 2022. Although that drop could be caused by other factors (such as increased cohabitation rates), it is an encouraging statistic.

What’s not encouraging, however, is the statistic showing which partner tends to initiate divorce. Data shows that roughly 70% of divorces are now initiated by women. Each of us can likely affirm this number just from our own circle of friends – indeed, most of the divorces I’ve known about in the last decade were more prone to be instigated by the wife than the husband.

That’s tragic, particularly since many of these divorces seem to stem from boredom or dissatisfaction with the partner rather than truly dangerous situations where the wife must leave the marriage for safety’s sake. What’s even more tragic is that these same women, in instigating divorce, often seem to ignore the effects their choice will have on their offspring.

Just how negative the effects of divorce are on children is shown in a new study from the National Bureau of Economic Research (NBER). The data presented only serves to underscore that divorce is a major blow to the stability of a child’s life … and the ripples of that instability will only spread as that child grows. Here are just a few of those negative effects:

• Median income in married-parent families registers around $70,000 per year. That drops to just over $40,000 for divorced-parent families.
• A decline in financial resources leads to other issues, one of which is less time with mom and dad, as both are forced to work more to cover costs. NBER finds that “mothers work 8 percent more hours after divorce, and fathers work 16 percent more after divorce.”
• Fewer resources also means poorer living situations, the report explains. “Even a decade later, children’s neighborhoods remain significantly below their pre-divorce quality.”
• This lack of time with parents and poorer living circumstances can naturally lead children to fall into bad company. Children from divorced homes experience a 63% increase in teen births, and “a 33 to 60 percent increase in incarceration likelihood” if they were between ages 5 and 20 when the divorce happened.

These are points of fact, scientifically presented by a leading research organization. Yet sadly, many seem to turn a blind eye to them, convincing themselves and others that their children will be far better off with divorced parents. Evidence of this tendency is seen in an X post highlighting the study where many commenters were left seemingly justifying divorce and trying to cast shade on the study’s results.

This reaction fits perfectly with what G. K. Chesterton said. “The definition of divorce, which concerns us here, is that it is the attempt to give respectability, and not liberty,” Chesterton wrote in “The Superstition of Divorce.”

Many women (and men, too) convince themselves that they will be free — free to live, laugh, and love as they want — if they only divorce their spouse and start fresh. But as the statistics above show, bondage, not liberty, is pretty much the assured outcome of divorce for both parents and especially children. And I would argue that this bondage extends beyond children to the nation as a whole.

Why is this?

“Marriage makes a small state within the state, which resists all such regimentation,” Chesterton writes.

That bond breaks all other bonds; that law is found stronger than all later and lesser laws. They desire the democracy to be sexually fluid, because the making of small nuclei is like the making of small nations. Like small nations, they are a nuisance to the mind of imperial scope. In short, what they fear, in the most literal sense, is home rule.

In essence, Chesterton is saying the family is a small nation, and the more we have of these tiny nations functioning properly and refusing to break apart, the more we as a large nation are able to resist tyranny, government overreach, and other breaches of our freedom.

It’s highly unpopular to question divorce these days simply because it’s an issue that affects many. None of us want to admit that our personal actions may have led to deleterious bondage being placed on many others. But if we want to push back on the tyranny and government overreach that has persisted in recent years, do we need to recognize that seemingly small, individual decisions – such as the decision to pursue divorce freely and fully – may be playing a larger part in the gradual loss of freedom the nation as a whole is experiencing?

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The republication of this article is made possible by The Fred & Rheta Skelton Center for Cultural Renewal. 

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