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Top 10 Dating Tips From a Dating Advisor

Top 10 Dating Tips From a Dating Advisor

Dating is a dangerous game for traditionalists. Our culture pushes extreme progressivism, devalues the nuclear family, and sneers at old-fashioned marriage. How do traditionalists live out their values and build a true romance?

It can be done … and it is often done very well. I have spent five years writing about traditional dating, interviewing engaged and married couples, and helping individual daters along their journeys. I also was a traditionally minded dating lady and am now married and surrounded by fantastic marriages in my extended family. During these years, I’ve seen 10 things nearly all successful couples have done to find their match and build their futures.

1. Lean Into Your Gender

The most fundamental way to a successful romance is to embrace your natural masculinity or femininity. What are the tangible ways you practice and nurture your inborn design? It can affect everything from your body language, your skill sets, your lifestyle, and the roles you take in romance. I’d recommend all traditionalists, no matter their religious affiliation, read Men, Women, and the Mystery of Love by Edward Sri. He does a great job breaking down and explaining the famous Theology of the Body by St. John Paul II.

2. Immerse Yourself in Several Different Dating Pools

This works twofold. First, you broaden the number of potential dates to meet and pursue. And second, it lowers the pressure on individual connections. In order to up your chances of meeting single traditionalists, join multiple circles where they can be found!

3. Don’t Take Things Personally

Dating involves vulnerability, which will heighten emotional reactions of all sorts. Be careful to keep your emotions separate from your common sense. Acting solely on feelings will cloud your decisions in who you date and where it leads. When looking for a traditional romance, you should act on your values and standards first, and emotional reactions second. Both are important, but only in this order will they lead to a healthy relationship.

4. Build Up Your Social Skills

The best way to connect with dates is to have good conversations and communication. Having good manners is also necessary when dealing with inevitable breakups. Plus, these skills are applicable in all areas of life—not just dating.

5. Give a Wide Variety of People a Chance

More than half the couples I’ve interviewed stress the importance of being open-minded. Many have told me that if they’d stuck to their “type,” they never would have met their now-spouse! Take this as your cue to give a fair chance to those who match your values. Height, location, hair color, career choice, and hobbies matter far less than shared values and future goals.

6. Be Bold Instead of Hesitating

If you’re in any type of quandary, my advice is take the bold option. You could look down and hope the cute guy notices you, or you could smile and wave at him. You could hope your crush hands you her phone number one day, or you could ask her for it directly. You could wait for months to see if you ever end up in a one-on-one conversation, or you could set up a date together this weekend. See what I mean? When you feel unsure, remember that hesitation will keep you where you are while boldness will propel you forward.

7. Be Fiscally Responsible

For guys this is especially important if you want a traditional breadwinning role one day. (In my experience, most traditional men do.) Take practical, strategic action in order to make this dream a reality. Plan how you want to do this in your future, and get a head start on making it a reality. And ladies, it will only help a future marriage if you too are financially responsible.

8. Have a Life You Love Outside of Dating

Don’t center your entire existence around finding someone to love. Actively engage in your career, hobbies, family relationships, and friendships. None will magically disappear once you have met your match, and a full traditional life will have many wonderful aspects outside of romance.

9. Don’t Share Your Body

What could be more traditional than keeping sexual relationships within the context of marriage? Intimacy has strong influence over relationships and releases hormones that create a special bond between people. And the benefits of protecting this special connection and saving it for marriage are myriad.

10. Practice, Practice, Practice

Many couples I know met their future spouse when they challenged themselves to go on more dates. It’s tempting to become discouraged, shut yourself away, or wait for the perfect person to show up on your doorstep. This only leads to despair and dating atrophy. Instead, get better at dating by actually dating! Meet more people, go on more dates, and put yourself out there. Your romantic options will drastically increase.

Onwards and Upwards

Wherever you are in dating, take heart. You are not the only traditionalist looking for love! There are many others out there. It might take a bit of effort to find and connect with them, but it will be worth every minute of work. I encourage you to truly live your values and date within them. Choose to date people who meet your standards and who hope for similar things in their future. You never know who will turn out to be your match!

Image credit: Pexels



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  • Avatar
    Kalikiano Kalei
    July 14, 2023, 9:49 pm

    Excellent advice and well done, Cadence! Based upon my own six+ decades of life, dealing with the perplexities of personal relationships, I can affirm the cogency of these observations. Each of those ten 'bullets' are right-square-on-target (to use a perhaps unfortunate metaphor). Fortunately, almost all of them were tenets of guidance that my own parents took pains to install in my ethical & behavioral education. For that I shall be eternally grateful, despite the fact that virtually all of them are now threatened and/or questioned by callow, youthful 'progressives' (possibly more aptly termed 'regressives') who sadly lack the benefit of long-term experience with (and observations on) life .Although there is no single 'magic formulary for which to turn, in acquiring this sort of insightful wisdom, that's essentially what good parenting is all about, isn't it? It's amazing what plucking up one's confidence and facing life squarely and honestly can do in these regards! Thanks for sharing your illuminating insights, Cadence.

    • Avatar
      Cadence McManimon @Kalikiano Kalei
      July 15, 2023, 12:54 pm

      Thank you for reading and commenting, Kalikiano Kalei! I appreciate your insight from a generation ahead, and thank you for your encouragement 🙂

  • Avatar
    July 15, 2023, 1:00 pm

    Great article!!! This author knows her stuff. 😉

  • Avatar
    October 14, 2023, 12:58 am

    Keeping this short- Cadence if you’re advising people in dating matters- please please please read up on red flags to avoid. Unfortunately much of the “traditional” so-called Biblical advice regarding dating, courting, and marriage lays a much heavier burden on the woman to please the man than the other way around, and it has lead to – dare I say?- an epidemic of hidden abuse in the Church. Epidemic because, according to research in the book The Lifesaving Divorce by Gretchen Baskerville, about one in four “Christian” marriages ends in divorce due to such extreme reasons as drug abuse, p0rn use, emotional, physical, financial or other abuse. Hidden because- well, we’re Christians, we hold marriage sacred- right? Yes, that’s the story I told myself for 16 long years, until my eyes were opened to my own situation. Most people in abusive relationships don’t. Even. Realize it. I thought I married a Christian, but it turned out I had married a wolf in sheeps clothing. And when they do realize it and seek help from the Church, as often as not the woman is told to pray harder, or try to accommodate his preferences or otherwise take responsibility for fixing his faults.

    Please, waste no more time to educate yourself on abuse in “Christian” marriages and how to identify people with abusive tendencies before marriage. Leslie Vernick and Natalie Hoffman are two other authors to consult.

    • Avatar
      Cadence McManimon@Freed
      October 15, 2023, 4:54 pm

      Thank you for your suggestions, this is a worthy topic to explore and discuss. I have written multiple times before on how to recognize abusive/toxic tendencies in dates early on (see my author page on CatholicMatchPlus). Thank you for reading!


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