Last week, I came across an article that cited nine reasons that millennials don’t want to have kids. And even though its tone was more similar to that of a childish rant than an article (so much so that I won’t even link to it here), it did bring up a lot of holdups that young people have about bringing a child into the world – so I thought I’d address them.
At the end of the day, I can’t force anyone to have kids and I don’t want to – but honestly, surely they’d have better reasons than these! Plus, if the right situation presented itself, I wouldn’t want them to miss out on all the wonder of having a child!
So here goes – some of the article’s points and my rebuttal:
1. “The world kinda sucks now.”
I get it. I worry about the challenges that my daughter, and any other kids I might have, will face in the future. I dread the day that they suffer in any tiny way, and yet undoubtedly that day will come. But I also know that there is so much good in the world, and so they will experience joy – lots and lots of joy. And I know that any suffering that comes their way can make them stronger, bring out their best and shape their characters. So no – the fact that the world sucks isn’t reason enough to not have kids.
2. “We’re poor as hell.”
Having children requires money. It’s a real concern for sure, but I feel that the majority of people just use this as a cop-out. “Giving a kid the life they deserve” doesn’t mean every new gadget and wild overseas trips and the fanciest clothes. In the end, all a child wants is your love, after all! Food is important too, but for the first stages of life that’s usually built-in (hello, breastfeeding) and that gives you enough time to figure out how to split the food after that. All I’m saying is: it’s doable.
3. “Pregnancy is … not … hot.”
Oh, for goodness’ sake – does everything have to be about being hot? Being hot, or sexually attractive, is only one facet of a human being, and we as a society are just way too obsessed with the ideal. Yes, a woman’s body does some different things during pregnancy and childbirth – but considering that it’s fostering new life, I find it nothing short of amazing! Not to mention that a lot of women experience some pretty “hot” pregnancy perks – glowing skin, shiny hair and more.
4. “We want careers. So sue us.”
Umm… is this even mutually exclusive to having a child? Sure – it will mean a lot more work, but it’s not impossible at all. One line under this point was “Many people worried children would keep them from achieving their highest potential,” which almost made me laugh. If anything, I think that having kids brings out good qualities that you never knew you possessed! And those qualities may even benefit your career – having a baby has certainly improved my work ethic, time management and prioritising, multi-tasking and efficiency, leadership and more.
5. “Because they’re not going to fix anything.”
Well good, because it sounds a bit selfish to me if people are only having kids to fulfil their own purposes – for example, in the hope that it will bring some life back to their marriage, or more likes to their Instagram profile.
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This article was republished with permission from MercatorNet.
8 Comments
Darren
September 30, 2023, 12:39 pmLet me be as frank as possible. WHY are you trying to convince people to have babies when they don't want them? The reasons I don't want children are the same reasons I don't want a lobotomy or to be set on fire or to bathe in vomit: I see what it is. I know that I don't like those kinds of things so I simply do not want them. Never have. Never will. I actually find them kinda revolting. Nothing you say is going to convince me otherwise. Stop trying to sell the benefits of your crotch fruit to people who don't want them. The end.
REPLYJR@Darren
October 3, 2023, 11:44 amYou’re a very sad sad individual. No one is trying to force or get you to have children. It’s an article that is simply saying that the reasons most give aren’t serious ones.
For you to compare the beautiful act of procreation to a lobotomy or vomit and to think of children as revolting is quite frankly a disturbing look into your mental state. Only someone who a dark emotional and mental state could think that way.
Somewhere you had a disturbing upbringing. I hope you find healing.
REPLYStacey
September 30, 2023, 4:02 pmThis article is a laughable oversimplification of parenting. It's almost insulting, correction, is insulting. "It's doable"? Yeah…. A lot of things a "doable", that doesn't mean they should be done! Reducing the costs of childcare to "food" and saying you learn to share… What? How about costs of childbirth itself? Clothing? Doctors visits, birthday parties (even small ones), education, childcare? Children in my country literally have school lunch debt! What about when the child is a wee bit older and wants to be participate in life enriching acrivities such as band, dance or karate? Do we express to the child that we are sorry but we read an article that claimed the only real expense involved with children was their food so we didn't calculate costs properly? Not to mention that other children will be horrible to those children who don't have the same level of fancy gadget, or clothes with brand names. I'm sure the author of this article is also one of those 'being bullied builds character' types. Bottom line; I applaud people who realize that having children is not for them because far too many folks have them regardless if their common snese and the child ends up suffering for it. We should hit the pause button on reproduction until foster homes aren't backlogged with children whose parents decided; well it's "do able".
REPLYLeo
September 30, 2023, 8:31 pmYou're life must be lame and depressing so you are more focused on other people's plans and desires. If the rest of the world wants or not to have a kid, it's up to them, it's like having a dog or studying something- NOT AN OBLIGATION. If you're miserable and stuck with your pathetic life, kudos!! you had your 5 minutes of attention by writing this mediocre "article".
REPLYJP
October 1, 2023, 2:01 amyuck children
REPLYI am a genXer. The best thing you can do for the world is to stop population growth
JR@JP
October 3, 2023, 11:49 amI’m also a Gen Xer and you don’t speak for my generation. You’re just a sad loner who hates himself. Children aren’t “yuck”. I can believe that that’s how you feel that way about yourself.
REPLYPaul
October 2, 2023, 6:26 pmI'm wondering the the political leanings of those who say YUCK to kids?
Most people whom find children *out of the question* usually worry about the DOOM and GLOOM coming from the media in all forms. (Climate change/overpopulation/crime stats/ blah blah blah..
In my mind?
These are some of the reasons from the media, consumed by those WHO are scared immature misinformed and selfish.
I had a buddy ask, *Got any kids?* Yep… 3 of the little rug rats.
He say's * WOW* I can't imagine myself with kids!! (money /time/ lifestyle.
My response.. Been there done that, Now? I can't imagine myself without KIDS
There is NO WAY we can describe as a parent, the JOY and absolute LOVE we have for a child, to those who have never walked in our parental shoes.
REPLY