One of my sons gave me some belated Christmas gifts just as cold and snow clamped down on my little town. Among these was a copy of Alfred Lansing’s “Endurance,” a narrative account of explorer Ernest Shackleton and his crew of 27 who fought for nearly two years to survive the gales, sub-zero temperatures, and ice packs of Antarctica.

About halfway into “Endurance,” I paused to wonder how much more misery these guys could take. Never in my life had I read a book where each spin of the wheel of fortune brought one misfortune after another with little relief, where one night the men are suffering in damp sleeping bags, for instance, and the next night both bags and men are soaking wet. The ice crushes their ship, they pitch camp and live for months on an ice floe, they brave the frigid sea and find a camp on solid land, and then six of them must take to sea again in search of rescuers. The song “Gloom, Despair, and Agony on Me” with its line, “If it weren’t for bad luck, I’d have no luck at all,” sums up this ordeal.

On finishing this saga, I realized that all of us, particularly parents with children at home, might draw some lessons from Shackleton and his men. Here are four of those takeaways:

Make Do or Do Without

When running low on meat and facing starvation, the crew hunted seals and penguins. When their playing cards became almost illegible with filth and grime, they found blubber made an excellent cleaner. When the bitter cold and furious winds made their tents uninhabitable, they used their overturned boats and a foundation of snow and stone to make crude huts.

All too often many people consider luxuries necessities. Rather than ordering an ordinary coffee from a barista, they spend two or three times as much on a sweetened and unhealthy drink. They take the family to restaurants and fast-food eateries, when healthier and less expensive food is available at the grocery store.

If you’re struggling financially, become an oatmeal and beans household. It’s healthier and much cheaper than a roast or a cheesecake.

Work and Play as a Group

The crew of the aptly named “Endurance” spent several hundred nights and days in close quarters, sometimes crammed so tightly into their tents that they were almost on top of each other. Yet they all pitched in on work detail, often reading aloud to others from the few books they salvaged. One man led songs on his banjo, and others passed the cold nights sharing stories about themselves.

If you have children, introduce them to work at an early age. Often you’ll find that the younger ones will want to help with washing dishes or vacuuming the floor, looking at these chores as play. Spend time reading stories, playing board games, or taking walks as a family. Just as work and play helped bind together Shackleton’s crew, they can do the same for you, your spouse, and children.

Practice and Teach Resilience

That old high school gym placard – “When the going gets tough, the tough get going” – might have served as the motto of Shackleton’s men. Again and again, they pushed themselves to the limit, pulling a boat to the safety of the beach, rowing until their hands were raw, trudging up a snow-covered slope when they wanted to drop in their tracks.

Children first learn resilience from their parents and from occasional failure. To surround them in a bubble of protection, to protect them from all suffering and defeats, is to raise a hothouse rose rather than one that absorbs the blows of rain, wind, and sun. In my teaching days, for example, some parents would tell me their child was struggling in Latin. Yet when I asked the kid how much time he was spending on his homework that week, it came to about 15 minutes a day. That’s not struggling.

Push the young people a bit, and just like Shackleton’s men, I expect you’ll find them rising to the challenge.

Give Thanks Daily – And Don’t Forget the Small Things

A glittering of stars signaled the end of rough weather. A meal of seal meat and blubber brought satisfaction to empty bellies. The shipmate who helped an exhausted man to his feet was appreciated. The arrival of the rescue ship induced “an excitement ashore…so intense that many men were actually giggling.” Gratitude was a byword among this crew.

Gratitude is a learned virtue. Children can be taught to say thank you and mean it, whether to a grandparent who helped them with their schoolwork or to God for their meal. Gratitude is the antidote to sadness and despair, the gift that keeps on giving for a lifetime.

These attributes help explain why all of Shackleton’s crew survived their war with nature. These same attributes can strengthen individuals and families, and make for happier lives.

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This article was made possible by The Fred & Rheta Skelton Center for Cultural Renewal. 

Image credit: Pexels