Not long ago, a certain meme multiplied across social media platforms involving clips of women asking the men in their lives how often they thought about the Roman Empire. The women in these clips were surprised and bemused when the men replied that they thought about the Roman empire frequently, sometimes multiple times daily.

I found the results of this survey unsurprising and somehow reassuring. As someone who used to recreate the Roman empire frequently as a child with my Playmobil toys and, later (ahem, last week) through board games and PC games, thinking about the Romans seems like the most natural thing in the world.

I do understand, however, why this Roman obsession would confuse the ladies, and with a little objectivity I can see why they find it amusing.

But let me provide a revolutionary theory about why men and women have such divergent interests when it comes to this ancient empire: Men and women are different. We’re built differently physically, of course, but also psychologically.

The Roman Empire meme bears witness to the distinctive and diverging orientations of male and female nature. The whole thing is funny because it’s true, saying so much about men and women. When we embrace these diverging natures as complementary gifts, they bring delight and strength.

To women, it might seem a little silly that men in this age of comfort (sitting crouched behind laptop screens or slouched on overstuffed couches scrolling on their phones) daydream about the vigorous, empire-building exploits of ancient generations. Yet it reveals that men, by nature, are builders, conquerors, and crafters.

It also reveals something a little sad: Many men fail to recognize and embrace this side of themselves, not least of all because society systematically discourages this tendency, dismissing and condemning the conquering male ethos as “toxic.” As a result, rather than building something of their own, most men’s empire-building energies are confined to dreaming about the glories of history and imitating them through a game on a screen. Thus, it seems the Roman obsession has more than a little to do with how our decadent postmodern society and its crisis of masculinity frustrates the primal building urge of men.

It doesn’t have to be that way. Opportunities for conquest and construction exist in every man’s life, first with himself and his own flaws, then radiating outward to the rest of the world. This impulse isn’t some inconsequential quirk of our makeup – it’s fundamental to the male mission, the meaning of masculinity. It shouldn’t be confined merely to watching sports or playing video games. It should be channeled into real-world projects that make our families, neighborhoods, and world better.

Once a man adjusts the lens through which he views the world, he begins to see opportunities to build everywhere – and heaven knows our society needs builders and visionaries.

A modern man’s “empire” might consist of his own household or homestead. He could work to build up his local community by constructing schools, connecting with neighbors, forming a bartering network, or organizing a men’s group or a sports team. He could conquer in the realms of business or politics. He could create enduring works of art or philosophy.

The institutions that need rebuilding in our society are myriad, especially at the local level, and these tasks are worthy of the skill, resilience, and strategy of the enterprising man. Most importantly, his efforts will strengthen society and provide his children with a better earth to inherit.

We cannot all be a Napoleon or an Alexander the Great. But we can all build something, and our efforts can have far-reaching, long-lasting effects.

The man who looks at his life as a field ripe for society-enriching conquests will find a deep fulfilment in the pursuit of this mission. The archetypal image of masculinity, is a man holding a trowel in one hand and a sword in the other. The true man builds, and he then defends what he (and his fathers before him) constructed through tears, sweat, and blood.

My advice to men? Make something. Build a legacy. Be a leader. Don’t let your presence on earth result in a zero sum or – heaven forbid – a net loss. Leave something worth remembering and daydreaming about … like the Roman Empire.

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This article was made possible by The Fred & Rheta Skelton Center for Cultural Renewal. 

Image credit: Unsplash