Taylor Swift is engaged to Kansas City Chiefs tight end Travis Kelce, and the internet is chock full of hot takes on her relationship, her upcoming marriage, and the takeaways from both. Keyboard warriors are busy making sense of it all – “Kelce is making a huge mistake,” “Swift is a trad wife now,” “the whole thing is an “op.”
For a self-described feminist, whose main political goal in the last 10 years has been to preserve abortion, Swift’s engagement certainly seems like a self-contradiction. Marriage is probably the most traditional institution there can be, dating all the way back to Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. For some on the left (or at least for those on the left-most portion of the right), Swift just proved you can have it all.
For them, Swift’s engagement shows that you can date around, hook up, and recreationally date disreputable men … and still snag some domestic bliss on your way out. But I would venture that even Swift herself wouldn’t agree with that assessment.
It’s simply wrong to claim that Swift’s engagement proves that her road in getting there was one she would, if she was honest with herself, wish on a friend. Her beautiful music itself shows that. While her lyrical accusations are subtle, her exes, with only a couple exceptions, don’t appear to be the most savory of characters. One, almost 10 years her senior, took her virginity when she was just 20 years old, only to become an absent boyfriend. Another broke up with her via a 27-second voicemail. Her most recent long-term relationship before Kelce was with actor Joe Alwyn. That relationship ended after years of him stringing her along without a proposal of marriage that she obviously wanted.
While it can be normal to look back at past relationships and see the good in the hard ways they grew and matured you, no one writes the breakup screeds that Swift does without, for the most part, deeply regretting these pairings. Swift may very well have gotten her happy ending, and a few lines of incredibly poetic heartbreak along the way – “A greater woman stays cool/But I howl like a wolf at the moon/And I look unstable/Gathered with a coven ‘round a sorceress’ table/A greater woman has faith/But even statues crumble if they’re made to wait.” But to look at her happy ending and assume it was because of, not in spite of how she got there, is to lose the whole point.
The incredibly brutal fact is that not everyone will be as lucky as Swift. Everyday girls who want marriage, but who also want to have a little fun with terrible men before “settling down,” will encounter a brutal reality when the good men are married to the boring traditional girls before they get around to them. Women who intentionally make bad dating choices are as unlikely to get their kind and masculine man on their own timing as they are to become an international pop star and be worth $1.6 billion.
What women can learn from the Kelce-Swift romance is that marriage and tradition are so good that even a woman who has every material want satisfied still pursues it – and finds happiness and fulfillment in it. That lesson should confirm to young women caught in our promiscuous world that it is worth it to live a virtuous life, not only for your own eternal soul, but for a future that will bring you more happiness than a series of titillating romances ever could.
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The republication of this article is made possible by The Fred & Rheta Skelton Center for Cultural Renewal.
Image Credit: Flickr-Ronald Woan, CC BY 2.0
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