Lots of parents these days feel swamped by the obligations of work and family. For many, it’s a balancing act in which all too often the tightrope breaks and chaos ensues. Work suddenly shifts into high-paced 12-hour days, and family life suffers. School with its academics and extracurricular activities eats up time spent at home. All these demands can turn priorities upside down, leaving mom and dad exhausted and kids lost in the whirlwind.
Many health professionals, counselors, and others are aware of the strain under which so many families operate these days. Recently, I had the honor of speaking with one of them, Jordan Langdon, wife, mother of three, and licensed clinical social worker and counselor. She also heads up Families of Character, an organization designed to help parents negotiate the obstacles and stress of life while at the same time instilling character and good habits in their children.
In 2009, after struggling through their own parental trials, Steve and Nancy Markel founded Families of Character. One key idea driving this fledgling organization was that parents should pay as much attention to their children’s character development as they do to achievements in school or to activities like sports or dance. Walking hand in hand with this perspective was the ancient concept that the home was the best training ground for virtue. Finally, the Families of Character advocates another teaching from long ago, that virtue depends on habit and the will to grow and blossom.
Since that beginning, Families of Character has grown from offering small-group programs to creating concepts and resources that can be duplicated in any family. Consequently, the organization is helping parents in 48 U.S. states and over 60 countries abroad. On their website we find this promise: “We are your partner in parenting to raise kids of great character! Our real-life solutions help kids grow in a “giving” mindset, where they are confident in their abilities, and empowered to stand strong through all the ups and downs in life.”
Here is just one of these solutions that has already helped families. “We started coaching parents on how to hold a weekly family meeting,” Langdon said, “and a real goal of it was to reorder the priority of relationships in the family.” Family huddles, as Langdon calls these meetings, are planning sessions, meetings laying out a weekly calendar of activities outside the home, discussing special future events like family vacations or holidays, and assigning chores.
Holding fast to a schedule of family meetings is vital, Langdon emphasizes, because repetition gives birth to habit. In most cases, after a certain number of these weekly meetings, children come to expect them and become as involved as the parents in the planning.
Here Langdon speaks from experience. She was one of the many parents who experience burnout from daily stress, often accompanied by a growing sense of disconnection within their families. Once she and her husband instituted what Langdon calls “family huddles,” the bonds between mom, dad, and children grew strong again.
Now our kids were trying to solve problems in the family calendar. They started feeling like a valued member of the team. And so all this great joy and unity started happening because we would show up at the same time every Sunday. My husband would lead, which they weren’t used to, so this was awesome. They were paying attention, listening, and I felt so taken care of by him that he would take charge of this. And then the kids were pitching in with ideas that worked to make things smoother and to take on more responsibility for themselves.
The ultimate goal of Langdon and her organization, as well as other similar groups, is clear: to strengthen the family and to create a home in which children learn and practice good character habits. These family ties and the inculcation of virtue in turn make for strong, prosperous, and happy communities.
The highly respected Institute for Family Studies, which is associated with the University of Virginia and whose objective is “to strengthen marriage and family life and advance the welfare of children,” backs this philosophy. Its mission statement includes these words: “Strong families make strong societies; fragile families make fragile societies.”
If you’re a parent seeking some vitamins and exercise to build up your family and home life, check out the website of Families of Character, where you’ll find an abundance of Langdon’s podcasts and other resources.
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The republication of this article is made possible by The Fred & Rheta Skelton Center for Cultural Renewal.
Image Credit: Freerange Stock, CCO
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