Telling Women They Don’t Need Men is Not Helpful
It is a question that has been debated for years: Do women need men? Nationally syndicated Radio Host Dennis Prager recently discussed this topic on his show and it got me thinking.
Feminists often argue that women, especially women who have been formally educated, do not need men. Women should stay focused on their careers and ascend the ranks of the corporate world, we’re told. Don’t depend on anyone else—certainly not a man—for financial security. Trying to find “the right” man is trite.
As one female psychotherapist put it in Time magazine: “The message is clear: It’s O.K. to feel a void if you don’t have a job you love, but it’s not O.K. to feel a void if you don’t have a man you love—because healthy, successful women shouldn’t need men.”
As I listened to Dennis Prager and his radio callers debate this question, he concluded that “yes, women do need men” and that “the happiest women are in happy marriages.”
His conclusion was supported by many female callers, none of whom felt like a “weak” or “unworthy” woman because they strived for a male either as a companion or husband.
Susan Patton, author of Marry Smart: Advice for Finding THE ONE, takes it a step further. She says college-age women should pursue a man even more than they pursue their career.
[U]ntil you find a spouse, I would advise you invest your effort and energy at least 75% in searching for a partner and 25% in professional development,” she writes.
Why place such emphasis on finding a partner? Because marriage and motherhood are just as vital to the happiness of many women as a career, arguably more so.
I tend to agree with both Dennis Prager and Susan Patton. Why can’t women strive for both? Why does it have to be either or?
I have a college degree as well as a Master’s Degree and am also happily married. I don’t consider myself weak because I “need” my husband or because he contributes to my life financially.
So, I will raise my daughters to believe that pursuing an education and striving for a career, finding a good man to marry, and motherhood, are all good things and equally important.
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