In one of the composition seminars I used to teach to homeschoolers, we discussed the use of reason and logic in shaping an essay. I noted that students could take a practical lesson home that very day, if they needed it.

“Let’s say you want to do something with a friend – go to a certain movie, the mall, whatever – but aren’t certain how your parents will react to your request,” I said. “Rather than approaching them directly, and maybe getting into some unnecessary argument, write out your reasons for the activity with supporting evidence, just as you would here in class. If you want to go to the mall, for example, explain the benefits of such a trip using the structure of an essay.”

The following day, the mother of one of these students called me. She was floored by a note her daughter had left on her bedroom pillow listing reasons why she should be allowed to attend a mixer at a nearby private school. “We hadn’t even discussed the dance yet, but she laid out all the reasons we should let her go to the dance,” she said, laughing. “After I read it, she told me she’d gotten the idea from class. It was amazing. You know, I think you’ve invented a way teens could really start winning some arguments. Very dangerous.”

This student wove common sense and reason into her request, and her wish was granted.

Misology is an opponent of such tactics. Little used in English, we find it in Plato’s “Phaedo,” where Socrates tags misologists as haters of arguments or ideas. Webster’s dictionary defines misology as “a hatred of argument, reasoning, or enlightenment.”

When I first came across this word last year, it struck me that America is suffering a severe case of misology. We see this virus at work on social media, where commenters slam the ideas of others by heaping curses on the person rather than refuting their viewpoints. We see it in the mindless slogans delivered in the chants and on the placards of protesters. We even see misology practiced among certain academics and members of Congress.

Ignorance united with passion is one sign of misology. Those protesters chanting, “From the river to the sea, Palestine will be free” often don’t know the name of the sea, much less the river, and some of them would be appalled to find themselves accused of promoting genocide.

Bellowing and cursing are easy. Thinking is hard.

Unfortunately, some people hit by such a barrage of emotional and often deranged arguments ratchet up the battle by using the same tactics and returning the same artillery fire. Smear your opponent, dust your hands, and walk away. Likely this scenario will play out at more than one Thanksgiving table this year.

So, how can we avoid leaning into misology in our discussions with others, particularly those vehemently opposed to our ideas?

First, don’t engage in argument when you don’t know what you’re talking about. If you can’t bring real information and facts to a debate, you are in effect practicing misology.

Don’t engage in arguments with others who don’t know what they’re talking about. You’re wasting your time and breath, and adding unwanted and unnecessary friction and animosity to your day.

Listen to the other person. This one is crucial and explains many of the divisions in today’s culture. Don’t pretend to listen while your mind is whipping up counterarguments. Listen attentively and truly to what they’re saying.

Ask questions. If, for example, an acquaintance supported Biden’s open border immigration policies, ask him why. Ask him what he knows about the financial stress these policies imposed on the nation. Inquire as to the ultimate purpose of this policy. By making these inquiries, you not only force him to think, but you may discover he’s ignorant about the matter at hand. You might try enlightening him, but either way you’ve learned more about him and his position.

Exercise self-control. If you’re caught up in one of those Thanksgiving fiascos where an argument becomes heated, back off. Pause, take a deep breath, and ask yourself whether alienating a cousin or a sibling is worth the argument. If more people in our country would try to treat others as human beings rather than as stereotypes, we would be stronger and more united as a nation. The same holds true for families.

Govern the passions, which are natural to all, with reason, and you’ll avoid mutating into a misologist.

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This article was made possible by The Fred & Rheta Skelton Center for Cultural Renewal, a project of 1819 News. 

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