“How are we feeling today?” my teacher began. “Let’s do a quick check-in.”

Typically, our check-ins involved a scale of one to five. One was the worst: It meant, the teacher explained, that we felt no motivation, had no energy, and couldn’t wait for the school year to end. Five was the best: It signaled that we felt alert, eager to learn, and excited about the class content.

On cue, we would hold up a certain number of fingers, indicating how we were feeling and how our days were going. Occasionally, we followed up with verbal explanations of our numbers, detailing what situations or emotions led us to choose, for instance, a four above a three.

I loved the teacher: She was attentive, conscientious, and genuinely concerned about our success. But those moments of “checking in” were anything but helpful. How could a low number keep itself from flavoring the whole of the class period, at least in students’ minds? For me, if I considered how I felt and rated it, there was a good chance that—even subconsciously—I’d internalize that rating and cling to it. In other words, giving a “two” at the beginning of class may have prompted me mentally to act like a “two” throughout the period.

Plus, at that point in my life, nothing seemed particularly exciting: My classes often felt monotonous, my homework frequently felt dry and unstimulating, and some of my closest friends had left the school. When prompted to analyze my emotional state, then, my thoughts would almost invariably turn negative. I began to think about the things that I, until that “checking in” moment, had pushed aside for the sake of productivity. No longer was I focused on the class in order to learn; instead, I was focused on myself for the sake of analysis.

Unfortunately, the emotional focus that studded that class for me is reflected in classrooms across the country. Abigail Shreir, in her recent book Bad Therapy: Why the Kids Aren’t Growing Up, recounts her experience attending a conference of educators.

Ask kids: ‘How are you feeling today? Are you daisy bright, happy and friendly?’ school counselor Natalie Sedano advised our assembled conference room of teachers. ‘Or am I a ladybug? Will I fly away if we get too close?’

This prompted great excitement in the audience, and teachers jumped up to share their own ‘emotions check-ins.’ One teacher shared a wellness check-in she learned from a teacher training. Every day, she asks her kids if they feel it’s a ‘bones’ or ‘no bones’ kind of a day, borrowing the verbiage from a viral TikTok video in which a pug owner shares the mood of his thirteen-year-old pug, Noodle. If Noodle sits upright, it’s a bones day! If he collapses, it’s a no-bones day.

‘That is so fun!’ Sedano enthused. ‘Love it! Thank you!’

No one betrayed a worry that having kids peg their day as ‘no bones’ at the very start might tend to lock a kid into feeling it was a ‘bad day’ all day long. (I tried to goad a few of my table companions to consider that maybe all this feelings focus was a little much; no dice.)

Let me be clear: Being aware of emotions and handling them properly is not a bad thing. In fact, it’s essential for healthy functioning in our relationships and world. But calling kids to constantly analyze and assess their feelings may be doing more harm than good.

Implicitly, we’re teaching students that their feelings are worthy of constant attention and evaluation. But really, feelings should sometimes be ignored. Especially in the classroom, students and teachers alike should focus on the subject matter—learning and mastering the material at hand. Because often, a lack of self-focus is what allows students to thrive.

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Image credits: Pexels